


I pretend like no one else (to try to control myself)

by reifukai



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Class Differences, Coercion, Dubious Consent, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Life Debt, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 08:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10987008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reifukai/pseuds/reifukai
Summary: It began the way many things did: in the middle of the changing seasons, while they silently yearned for each other.





	I pretend like no one else (to try to control myself)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a multi-chaptered story in quite a while. I'm just so invested on these two that it physically hurts sometimes.
> 
> Things to take into consideration:
> 
> -This is not underage.  
> -Shinsuke hasn't lost his left eye yet.  
> -Additional tags, characters, and/or warnings will be added as they appear.  
> -Title of the story and this chapter come from Interpol songs.

23:37

It had been a long day but he had finished with his homework early that night. As usual, music was blasting from his headphones, it usually helped him when he found it difficult to sleep, it was loud and alternative, and it reminded him a little of last Christmas Eve for some reason. He liked almost all sorts of music, it was interesting how different genres managed to convey different, often unexpected emotions, just like people’s songs did. A sigh escaped him as he rolled on his back, throwing the blanket to the side, on the tatami, thinking of how unbearably hot the weather was getting as summer was near, and he closed his eyes since even the dim moonlight through his curtains made him feel uncomfortable.

He didn’t hear the door sliding open, but he incidentally opened his eyes and saw as the man walked towards him, and he didn’t do anything to stop him when he kneeled between his thighs and impatiently tugged his jeans and underwear off him, he even helped by slightly lifting his hips to make it easier, hands still resting over his bare chest as he observed him, fully clothed and just undoing his pants as necessary. Luckily, the lubricant was readily available near his futon, and the man had the decency to coat himself well before he grabbed his right leg to bend it against his chest, spreading him more before he started to push himself inside with the help of his right hand.

A grunt escaped his lips as he immediately started with a merciless pace, his left hand searched for something to grip, finding the pillow under his head, while he bit on the back of his right hand to avoid being too loud. The headphones started sliding off his ears as the powerful thrusts pushed him too hard, and he could heard the other man’s panting breath, and his own uneven grunts and whimpers, and he tried to keep focus on the music, but it was difficult. At least this time the man had come in prepared instead of making him suck him off, he thought as he felt the hand letting go of his thigh and those hands grabbing his him tightly, nails digging on his hips, making him groan in pain, he closed his eyes, _‘I try to kill the song ‘cause the melody's all wrong…’_ Went the song he could barely listen to at that moment, and he moaned loudly at the discomfort of a particularly harsh thrust, his hand barely muffled the sound, his breathing slightly agitated.

It didn’t take long for the other man to finish inside him, it felt gross, especially when he pulled out carelessly, making him wince, and the warm mess started to slide from his body. He opened his eyes and saw him fixing his underwear and pants before leaving the room, there were no words exchanged during the whole encounter. A loud sigh and a tired groan left his lips, this time pulling the blanket over his body, he felt a little cold now, was he shaking? He also put his headphones aside before turning to rest face down, and it took him a while to get to sleep but he finally made it.

06:11

He barely wakes up when he hears the door sliding open, hoping he’s not there for another round. Instead he hears the man leaving the room almost immediately, so he goes back to sleep again, feeling a bit sore.

7:30

He usually dreads getting up so early, especially when his night was so exhausting. He’s already snoozed the alarm three times before finally sitting up on his futon, naked, and feeling some pain shooting up from his lower back and... He stands up carefully and gets his towel, wrapping it around his hips, noticing the reddish scratches and the recently formed bruises, and walks to the bathroom to take a shower.

He notices _that_ when he goes back into his room, and kneels in front of his low table to inspect it. It’s money, there are eight thousand yen in total, and now he also understands that the man had probably just entered his room earlier to put the money there. He sighs, maybe it hadn’t been that bad to let him fuck him after all, he must have really liked it because normally he would just leave five thousand yen.

He puts on his school uniform, not really ready for another day, he thinks as he tries to tidy his messy, teal hair a bit before putting on his sunglasses and headphones.

8:03

He’s approximately three blocks away from the school, and while he enjoys walking regularly, it’s a bit bothersome after one of those nights, he thinks as he stretches and then finishes undoing his jacket. He’s running a bit late to go to the convenience store for some bread for breakfast, though he’s not particularly hungry… Or maybe he is, but maybe he’s just running late.

He yawns once again as he crosses to the other side of the street, without really looking to the sides, still too sleepy and too focused on his music to actually notice the car that’s approaching…

Or the person who’s running right behind him.

“Watch out!” He barely hears, muffled through his headphones as he falls face down, almost hitting his face but landing with the palms of his hands instead, his now broken sunglasses, and his headphones and music player, which he’s not sure if they’re still working, are some meters away. The car honked loud and long, and suddenly stopped, but they’re far enough that it wouldn’t have hit them anyways, and it’s not a very busy street also, so there aren’t other cars coming right now.

“Are you fucking deaf?” The smaller boy asks as he stands up, offering his hand to help him to his feet. He shakes his head and takes the hand that’s offered to him, quickly grabbing his broken sunglasses, headphones and player, noticing how the headphones have seemingly stopped working. “Great.” He mumbles to himself, and turns to look at the other.

“Thank you. You saved my life, I daresay.” He sounds monotone, though he’s honestly a bit startled, and his head is starting to hurt at the bright sunlight, though he can buy another cheap pair with the money he was just given. His body hurts a lot more after falling to the ground so gracelessly.

The other boy rolls his eyes, “I guess so,” he says, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and quickly lighting it, which makes him a little curious.

“Aren’t you too young to be smoking?” He asks, more out of curiosity than anything else, it’s not like he wants to intrude in that guy’s life. “Who cares? I stole them from my dad,” he sees him shrug as he keeps furiously smoking, and eyes him with interest, “What’s your name?” He asks, halfway through his cigarette.

“Kawakami. My first name’s Bansai. If you excuse me” He says calmly as he starts walking again, feeling a tad uncomfortable, not used to people asking him things. It doesn’t really help since the shorter boy keeps walking just a step or two away behind him. “Shinsuke Takasugi, and we’re apparently going to the same school. I’m transferring as of today.” Bansai realizes they are, indeed, wearing the same uniform, so he slows down his pace a bit until they’re walking side by side.

“I see.” A soft breeze comes and goes, and he still feels oddly indebted to this person. It’s not that he particularly wants to live, but he doesn’t want to die either. After these many years he doesn’t think of himself as someone worthy of any sort of salvation… From what anyways? It’s ridiculous.

Bansai rubs his left temple, his head is starting to hurt pretty bad, and he’s also hungry, and probably late for school. Shinsuke yawns and stretches after he finishes smoking, he seems so relaxed. “We should just skip school,” he says, but Bansai is not sure if he really wants to do that.

“I just turned twenty, I don’t think I can afford wasting my time at school anymore.” The taller replies seriously, and a bit ashamed of himself because he’s so old already. A sigh leaves his lips, prepared for the other to burst in laughter or something. “I’m nineteen, I kind of took a break too,” he says instead, and Bansai sees him shrug indifferently, “it’s not like we really need to graduate, we could just… make money killing people or something.”

8:23

They miraculously get to school right on time, a scarce seven minutes before homeroom, and Bansai still isn’t sure if Shinsuke is being serious or not about killing people.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for bearing with me m(_ _)m


End file.
